


But You're Friction

by amtrak12



Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-02
Updated: 2013-06-02
Packaged: 2017-12-13 18:19:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/827353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amtrak12/pseuds/amtrak12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a kiss in the woods that wouldn't leave Myka alone. And then, she didn't want it to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Several weeks ago, someone posted to Tumblr looking for Bering and Wells fics that had them start out as friends with benefits. I got stuck trying to figure out what that kind of relationship would look like for them, and it combined with some unused high school settings floating through my head. Then my sanity was stolen, and this came out. :/ It's very different from any of the stuff I've posted to my other sites. I hope you like it? But mainly I hope you don't hate it.
> 
> I split it into chapters due to the length, but it works closer to a one-shot. Complete. Rating is for chapters 3 and 4.

It’s supposed to be a senior party. They’re celebrating the football team’s homecoming win with a late night bonfire, hot dogs, s’mores, and no alcohol (there are parents chaperoning). The absence of alcohol was the only reason Pete managed to drag her out here. She wasn’t a prude. She just had no desire to be arrested for underage drinking.

She still should’ve said no, though. A senior-hosted party meant only the more popular underclassmen were invited over, and Myka was anything but popular.

Stupid Pete and his stupid whine of “but Mykes, it’s my last homecoming party”. Now, she was stuck hiding by the tree line trying not to look out of place because her friend had abandoned her to flirt with a volleyball player.

That’s the last time she took his advice on what would be fun. She should be at home asleep. Or reading. God, curling up with _The Pale Horse_ sounded so good right then. Or - as she watched the flames dance - _Fahrenheit 451_. It could be a themed reading night.

“You look positively bored.”

Myka jumped and looked to her right. A girl stood beside her. Myka had no idea where this girl had come from, how she had snuck up on her, or if she was even a student at their school. But her first concern was for the girl’s definitely-not-American accent.

“Who are you?”

The girl smiled. The fire pit threw lights and shadows over them in such a way that Myka couldn’t tell if the girl had black or brown eyes. But they were shining.

“You can call me Helena if you’d like.”

British. The girl’s accent sounded British.

“Okay.” Myka flattened a palm against the tree bark behind her. “Are you friends with someone on the football team?”

Helena’s gaze drifted over the other partygoers. “Not exactly.” She returned her eyes to Myka. “I believe I was invited because someone thought I was pretty.”

Did that someone change his mind? She shouldn’t be at the fringes of the party if someone was trying to hit on her.

“I wondered if you’d care to take a walk with me?” Helena pointed to the woods behind them. Myka knew there were trails out there - Pete had complained all summer about the team being forced to run them - but she hadn’t seen anyone walk back there tonight. She suspected they’d been declared out of bounds.

“We can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” Myka paused. “We don’t have flashlights.” That was a more logical and concrete answer. Less lame.

Helena smiled and leaned close. “But that’s part of the adventure.” She backed away and turned into a trail opening. Myka watched her disappear through the leaves before pushing off the tree and following. The girl looked over her shoulder and grinned when Myka entered. Then, the woods filled in to block the firelight, and the trail grew dark.

“You didn’t ask for my name.” Myka walked after the girl, navigating tree roots and crunching leaves in the low light. Helena never waited for her to catch up. She simply kept walking and expected Myka to follow.

“A rather helpful boy by the food table gave me it,” Helena said. “Your name’s Myka.”

“What boy?” Myka’s foot treaded over a loose rock. “Was it Pete?”

Now, Helena stopped. It made Myka stop, too. “Who’s Pete?”

Myka shook her head. “Never mind.”

Helena resumed her trek. Myka frowned and pushed to catch up.

“Ow!” she said when the ends of an unseen branch scratched her shoulder. “Where are we going?”

“I’m not sure. How far back does this trail go?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never been out here.” Myka finally overtook the girl as they reached a divide in the trail.

“Let’s hope we don’t get lost then.” But Helena didn’t sound concerned as she continued down the path to the right.

“I’m pretty sure we’re not supposed to be back here, you know,” Myka said.

“We’re not supposed to, yet we are.” Helena spun and stopped in front of Myka, forcing her to halt, too. “ _You_ are.”

Yes, but she didn’t know why.

“We should go back. We’ll get in trouble.”

Helena pouted. Or Myka thought she pouted: the shadows seemed to cloud her vision whenever she looked directly at the girl.

“But we’re already here. We might as well stay.” Helena stepped closer. “It’s so much quieter out here.”

Myka didn’t like the way her heart was racing. It was too quiet out here, too dark.

“We should go back,” she said just above a whisper. The woods were dampening her voice.

“Stay.” The girl’s hand brushed over Myka’s arm. Her fingers slid down over her forearm, her wrist, her palm. They pressed against Myka’s own fingers, smoothing and straightening them from where they were curling in.

Myka flexed her hand, but Helena didn’t remove hers. “What are you doing?”

“Convincing you to stay in these woods with me.”

“I don’t even know you.”

Helena moved even closer. “That’s what makes this fun.” Then, her lips pushed against Myka’s.

Her mind struggled to catch up. Myka pulled back. “What? What are you doing?”

“Asking if I can kiss you.”

“What - that’s not how you ask.”

Helena arched an eyebrow. “May I kiss you now?”

This was a joke. All those images of television clichés where the unsuspecting student is lured into a trap by someone pretty and popular flashed through her head. There could be people hiding in the trees, waiting for the moment to pop out and embarrass her. It was ridiculous and unfair because Myka had never even seen this girl before, let alone given her a reason to hurt her.

“What are you doing?” Anger laced her voice now. Myka was proud the reflex to cry stayed tamped down.

“Was that still not right?”

“No! Why are you doing this? Why did you bring me out here?” She backed away as she spoke, moving towards the entrance of the trail.

Helena watched her. “Why do you think I’m doing this?”

A neutral question, a curious question. No insinuation one way or another, and no one else was showing themselves. Myka shook her head.

“I don’t know.” She couldn’t think of a legitimate reason why someone would pull her away from a party into a darkened woods unless it involved Pete telling a ghost story. “I don’t know why I’m out here.”

Helena took a step forward. “I brought you here because you look bored.” - another step - “Like you didn’t belong with the rest.” She smiled at this point, so faint in the shadows. “And your curls are quite possibly the most darling thing I’ve ever seen.”

Myka’s hand flew up to her hair. She ran her fingers through it.

“I’m not good at styling them,” she mumbled. “My hair’s always a mess.”

“I think your hair is lovely.” Helena took a final step that brought her back within inches of Myka. “I think you’re lovely.”

“But.” This girl didn’t make any sense. “You don’t know me at all.”

“Nobody knows anyone. It's an impossibility.” Helena reached up and coiled a strand of Myka’s hair around her finger. “Your hair really is delightful.”

“So.” Myka cut off when Helena’s hand brushed against her cheek. She took a breath and tried again. “So, you don’t know me, but you still asked me out here to, what? Just to make out with me?”

“That depends.”

“On what?”

Helena’s eyes flicked up. She was leaning so close now.

“Do you want to make out with me?”

Myka wanted to say no - that she didn’t do things like that, that wasn’t her game - but she couldn’t remember the reasons why.

“I haven’t kissed a girl before.” There. That was supposed to be a reason, wasn’t it?

Helena smiled. “There’s a first time for everything.” She crossed the final inches, and Myka held still. She let the girl press her lips to hers again, let them move to part between hers, let the hand still twisted in her hair clasp her face and adjust their angle. She brought her hands up to grasp the girl’s waist and let her push in closer.

And every moment Helena kissed her, Myka let herself surrender just a little bit more.

—————————

She never told Pete about the woods.

She never told him about Helena, either. By the time they’d left the party, it was already feeling surreal - more like the remnants of a dream than something that really happened. So she made excuses and turned Pete’s teases around on him until he was defending his love of salt and vinegar potato chips and the original conversation had been long lost. She only thought back to the woods as she fell asleep that night. The rest of the weekend was filled with work and avoiding the homecoming dance.

On Monday afternoon, she spotted the girl across the hallway.

Myka froze in her tracks. She felt her head swim and heart race.

It hadn’t been a dream. Helena wasn’t a figment of her imagination. She was very much real and solid and looking impossibly better in the bright lights of the school than the dull shadows of the trees. Her smooth hair glittered, and a smile shone in her eyes. Myka still couldn’t see what color they were.

Breathing became an issue. Myka realized her lungs were only going through the motions. They seemed to have forgotten the step where oxygen was collected. She forced a deep breath to remind them.

The girl looked down the hall and caught her gaze.

This was where she should run.

But her feet had forgotten their function, too, and Myka was left stranded in the hallway staring at the girl she’d somehow made out with at a senior party. It was so abnormal, it felt fictional.

Yet, Helena was still there, holding her stare with a slight smile tugging at her lips. Like a smirk, but it didn’t fill Myka’s stomach with dread.

A locker slammed nearby and made her jump. When she gathered herself and glanced back, Helena was gone. She didn’t see her for the rest of the day.

She thought of the woods again that night. Replayed every step as she fell asleep.

————————

Myka was pulling Pete along the school’s sidewalk.

He shuffled his feet and moaned that it was inhuman to arrive at school an hour before bell. If she didn’t keep him moving, he would likely sprawl out at the base of the wall and sleep his way through first hour. She was tempted to let him do just that when he decided he was too tired to scale the three inch step into the school, but he was a fellow member of the Honors Society and, thus, required for this morning meeting.

She jerked him inside by his shirt, and he tripped and lost hold of his lunch box. Myka scooped it up from the sidewalk before he could complain. As she rose, her eyes caught sight of someone leaning against a car in the near-empty parking lot.

It was Helena with some guy Myka only recognized as a football player. They were making out.

“You dropped my - hey, who’s that with Ryan?”

“Nobody.” She tried giving him the lunch box, but Pete pushed past her to be out on the sidewalk again.

“Hey, Ryan!” he yelled. “You’re going to be late to weights!”

The only response was Ryan flipping Pete off over his shoulder. Pete laughed.

Myka shoved the lunch box at him, not caring if he dropped it again, and speed-walked away. Her teeth clenched and something like anger or bitterness roiled through her stomach. This was why she didn’t play those games, the ones played for fun or revenge or whatever else her classmates played them for. They were stupid and never meant anything. Myka had bigger things to do. She had a neighborhood trick-or-treating event to plan with the Honors Society.

She had no reason to think about Helena.

————————

Lunge. Thrust. Keep her wrist straight. Step back. Parry. Parry.

Nobody was in the smaller gymnasium this morning. Just Myka, practicing her fencing. It was one of those rare mornings where she wasn't in the mood to practice. She'd stayed up late the night before, finishing a trigonometry assignment and editing a history paper. Today, she was tired and lethargic and only wanted to curl back up in bed. As a compromise with herself, she was practicing without full gear. At least she wouldn't have to shower before school started.

She pretended she heard someone behind her and swung around to fend off the imaginary foe. Her eyes grew wide.

Someone really had been behind her. Helena stood with her hands held up and looked somewhere between stunned and amused by the semi-sharp point at her neck. Myka would be in so much trouble if anyone walked in and saw them like this. She'd be written up for pointing swords at other students and for not wearing her proper gear; she'd be banned from ever practicing at the school again. She needed to lower her arm, but something made her tighten her grip and hold the sabre out a second longer than shock could explain. Then, she dropped her arm to the side.

"Sorry. I didn't know you were there."

Helena looked far too calm as she lowered her arms as well and stuck her hands in her coat pockets. "It's alright. Clearly my fault for approaching a person swinging a sword."

"Sabre," Myka corrected. She turned back to the wall she'd been focusing on and hoped the girl would leave.

She didn't.

"I didn't know they taught fencing at this school."

"They don't." Myka didn't feel like explaining how she took classes at the local Y, how the school bought her a warm-up jacket and let her practice in the gym because they wanted to claim credit for her achievements.

Myka gritted her teeth and practiced another lunge. She willed herself to keep her form, to not appear self-conscious or mess up just because someone was watching.

"You look good," Helena said, before crossing to the door and finally leaving. Myka glared after her and imagined hurling the sabre at the girl's back.

————————

"Now, how could a girl require a library to read when her father owns an entire bookstore?"

Myka looked up and frowned as Helena sat down in the chair across from her.

"I like reading in peace." A not-so-subtle hint for the girl to leave. "And how do you know my father owns a bookstore?"

Helena shrugged. "Myka Bering. Bering & Sons. It wasn't terribly difficult to work out."

That answer only brought more questions. Like, how did she learn her last name?

"Why are you here? School's out. Go home."

Infuriatingly, Myka's coldness made Helena smile.

"School _is_ out, which brings us back to my question: why are you reading here in the library?"

She refused to defend her reading habits to this girl. "Mrs. Keller stays until four." The librarian's habits were safer to discuss.

Helena's eyes perused the room. "Do they have anything interesting here?"

Myka shrugged and returned to _The Grapes of Wrath_. "You can look."

"But I suspect you're more of a book expert than me, and I could so use an expert opinion."

"I'm busy."

"With, let's see... John Steinbeck. Is he any good?"

Myka huffed, but wouldn't say anything. A long minute of silence passed where she had to reread a paragraph - twice - because she was so irritated.

"Alright." Helena finally stood up. "I'll leave you to your reading."

As the girl walked away, Myka felt relief and something that was definitely not guilt. It didn't matter that she was rude and chased the girl off. The only person who could make her feel guilty for ignoring them was Pete, and even that was only on occasion.

She glanced up at the library doorway to see Helena standing there like she'd been waiting. The girl smiled - an annoying, knowing smile that made as little sense as everything else she'd done - and then disappeared.

Myka gave up reading _The Grapes of Wrath_ a few minutes later.

————————

It was Friday. The one day Myka was allowed to drive the car to school. She clutched the straps of her backpack while waiting for some people to pull out before she crossed the school drive. She loved Fridays. They meant she had full control over the music choice.

She wove between vehicles, debating if she should switch albums from this morning, and didn't notice anything different about her mother's car until she was a few steps away.

"Are you still angry with me?"

Helena sat upon the hood of the car, leaning back on her elbows like she owned the vehicle. Beneath the confusion and the frustration, Myka had to wonder again just how Helena knew where she would be.

"I'm not angry. I just don't like you." Myka ignored the arched eyebrow in response and walked over to the driver's side. Helena beat her there and slid between her and the door.

"Yes, you do. That's why you're angry with me."

Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Myka was not one of those clingy girls who got upset when they were dropped or ignored after one exchange. In fact, she was irritated because Helena _wouldn't_ leave her alone.

"I have to go. I'm going to be late." She tried reaching around to the door handle, but Helena wouldn't move.

"Where are you going?"

"I volunteer at the hospital, and I have to be there by three-thirty." Still, she wouldn't budge. "You need to move."

"The grades, the extracurriculars - aren't you the perfect university candidate," Helena murmured. It struck a nerve with Myka.

"I'm not just doing it to look good on college applications. That's not enough. You have to look focused. I'm volunteering at the hospital because I want to study pre-med." She crossed her arms because she felt like she'd given away too much - certainly more than she'd meant to, but this girl annoyed her and then words just seemed to pour out.

Why did Helena always look so calm during these encounters?

"What time are you finished?"

"No."

"I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with no-o'clock."

"I'm not telling you what time I finish because I don't want you sitting on my car again at the hospital or calling me because you magically got my number." Helena smiled again, and this one did fill her with dread.

"You have my number already, don't you? Unbelievable." Myka pushed for the door handle, and Helena slid out of the way this time.

"What if I want to spend time with you?"

"Well, I don't want to spend time with you." She tossed her bag into the passenger seat.

"Myka."

Something in her tone made her look up. She met Helena's eye, and the girl looked genuine, like she honestly wanted to spend time with her. Myka didn't understand.

"Wells."

"What?"

"My name," the girl repeated. "It's Helena Wells."

Helena Wells with very dark brown eyes. It was a stupid observation to make, but they were staring and Myka couldn't help but notice. She rubbed the back of her neck and leaned away. Helena stood patiently across from her with the car door hanging open between them.

"I usually stay until the lab closes at six. But I'm officially done at five." She held the girl's gaze and tried not to let her nerves show.

"I'll see you at five, then."

Myka swallowed.

————————

Helena wasn't sitting on top of the car when Myka walked out of the hospital. She was sitting in the car.

"Interesting choice to lock only the driver's side," Helena said through the open window.

Myka dropped her shoulders and frowned down at the key fob that had failed her once again. "I know I hit the button. This thing must need new batteries." She almost tested it in the parking lot, but then figured that would be silly with Helena waiting in the car.

"So, where are we going?" Helena asked when Myka slid in behind the wheel.

"I don't know." She might have been distracted at work, but that didn't mean she'd managed to plan anything for this... whatever this was. "I have an hour before my parents will expect me home."

She wasn't surprised Helena had more of a plan. "What's some place we can be alone?"

Myka drove them to the high school baseball field. It was the first place she thought of that would be empty at five pm in October. Helena seemed okay with this choice, but then, she never really seemed not okay.

She also seemed amused. She scrunched up her nose as she stepped through the fence and scanned the dusty field.

"So this is where you play your baseball."

Myka assumed she was referring to Americans, in general.

"Yeah." Myka walked onto the field behind her. "The bases are all put up right now, though. Baseball is a spring sport."

Helena wandered over towards the pitcher's mound. The rubber looked to be in storage, too, so it was difficult to tell where the player was supposed to stand. She turned back to Myka, nose still wrinkled in puzzlement. "But how is this a field?"

"I don't know." She kicked at the dirt and found the hole for third base. "It makes more sense when it's all set up." Though, if she didn't know the rules... "Maybe. Kind of." She moved to shake off the vague rambling. "Home plate should still be out."

It was. Myka found the scuffed white peeking through the brown. Helena met her at the spot.

"Home plate." The girl glanced up at her. "The inspiration for all those sporting metaphors."

Now, Myka was puzzled.

"Let me see, I believe we've experienced first base."

Oh. Oh. Panic flooded Myka as she remembered who she was with and why they were here.

"What is that?" Helena pointed behind her. The abruptness confused Myka all over again.

"What is what? The dugout?"

There was the nose scrunch, again. "The dugout?" She walked away, and Myka followed her inside the visitor's bench.

"It's where the team sits."

Helena examined the metal shelter and bench, looked over the fence protecting the team from foul balls. Then, she walked back over to Myka.

"And what happens in the dugout?"

Myka was about to explain some more when Helena's arms slid up and around her neck and made her breath catch. They were back on sports metaphors.

"Um." She felt dizzy seeing Helena this close (and in the daylight). She took a breath to steel herself. "I guess we'll find out."

Helena grinned at her answer and leaned in.

.

Apparently, tongues happened in the dugout.

————————

Myka wondered all weekend what Monday would bring. Would Helena ignore her? Would she seek her out?

\- Would she not see Helena at all?

That's how the day seemed to go. Myka didn't catch so much of a glimpse of her during school. She thought the girl might be avoiding her, but then, as she walked with Pete to his football practice, a voice interrupted their conversation.

"Myka! Oh, there you are."

Helena rushed over to them. Myka bit her lip at the butterflies that swirled through her.

"I was afraid you'd be gone before I could catch you," Helena said. "You offered to help with my maths, and I was hoping you would have some time now."

"Uh, yeah. Yes. I'm free." Myka folded her arms across her ribs and fought down a grin.

"Calculus, huh?" Pete motioned at Helena's book. "You know, Myka here," - he slung a heavy arm around Myka's neck, and she glared over at him - "is still in trig - not her fault. She's only a junior. I, however, am kind of a calculus expert."

"You're in pre-calc, and I had to help you with your homework last week."

Pete dropped his arm and deflated. "Mykes! I was trying to, you know."

Oh, Myka did know. "Go to practice."

"Alright, alright." He pointed at Helena. "But hey, if you ever need any other tutoring."

"Pete!"

"I'm going!" He disappeared into the gym.

Sometimes, Myka would simply roll her eyes at Pete's flirting. Other times, she actually wanted to beat the shit out of him.

She sensed Helena step in closer.

"Hello."

Her glower fell into a soft smile, and the butterflies came back. "Hi."

"You don't have to rush anywhere, do you?"

Myka shook her head. Helena's eyes shined.

"Good."

She hooked a finger through the strap of Myka's backpack and tugged. Myka wasn't sure where they were going or where they could go. School had always been for school, not making out (they were going to make out, right?). Helena led her to one of the stairwells and pulled her underneath where they'd be out of sight from the hallway. She set her textbook on the floor, and Myka slid off her backpack. Myka wanted to be the one who initiated this time and took a step forward. A thrill shot through her when Helena allowed herself to be backed against the wall.

"Hi," Myka repeated, hands on Helena's waist, thumb running back and forth. She decided she liked the button-down shirts Helena always wore. They felt nice beneath her palms.

Helena smiled, one hand already toying with the curls hanging between them. Myka kissed her, and the hand slid around the back of her neck to pull her closer.

————————

Footsteps echoed through the stairwell and startled them. Helena's foot collided with Myka's bag.

"Shh!" Myka put her finger to Helena's mouth. Helena's eyes flicked to hers, and Myka nearly stopped breathing. It was the woods all over again with her eyes shaded more black than brown, but her expression was so much clearer here, so much easier to read.

Helena curled her hand around Myka's and kissed her finger. Once. Twice. Myka's hand loosened at the sensation of warm lips against all those nerve endings. Helena took advantage of this and moved down, kissing her other fingers, her palm.

They were kissing again before the footsteps were off the stairs.

————————


	2. Part 2

"I was invited to join the Scholar Bowl team."

Myka turned from her locker to find Helena beside her.

"You were?"

Helena shrugged. "Apparently, I've let slip one too many obscure facts in government class. I've been recruited."

Myka was impressed.

"Why aren't you on the team?" Helena asked.

"Oh." She finished switching books with her locker. "I'm not allowed to join any teams that leave school early for competitions."

"But it's an academic team."

Myka shook her head. "Nope. No Scholar Bowl, no volleyball, not even Math Team."

"You were recruited for volleyball?"

Myka shut her locker. "Sort of. Freshman year. It was just because I'm tall." She met Helena's gaze and then regretted it. The girl was wearing the same mixture of confusion and pity Pete had shown when he'd learned of this restriction. Myka quickly shrugged.

"It's fine. I can still be in other clubs." She couldn't fidget with her hands because of the books she held, so she tightened her grip around them instead. "Are you going to accept?"

"Not sure." Helena threw out a smile. "We'll see if I attend the competition tonight."

————————

Their high school was hosting the Scholar Bowl tournament. Myka stayed in the library after school, reading for English and discussing the tournament with Mrs. Keller. She learned which schools were coming (didn't care), who they might beat (didn't care), and which classrooms were being used for the matches (did care). At four, the librarian left, and the matches started. Myka crept down to the home economics room and peeked in at their school's team.

Helena had came.

She was up at the front with the other four starting members, wearing the team's blue polo shirt, and settling in with her buzzer. She wasn't looking at the doorway, so Myka took the opportunity to slip in and find a seat in the back where she might not be noticed.

It seemed to work. Helena never looked her way, at least.

But Myka watched her. Helena buzzed in, or tried to, on almost every question and looked peeved when someone's light flicked on before hers. At the halfway mark, the girl finger-combed her hair back into a ponytail and tied it up. Myka had to grin at the sign of seriousness.

Their team won the match. Helena led the way by answering seven toss-ups. The only questions she didn't seem to know were ones on television or films.

Myka wanted to bring her legs up and hug them as the team high-fived and congratulated Helena. She didn't (she needed to look normal in front of all these people), but the pride and happiness that threatened to break through Helena's calm facade were shooting arrows to Myka's chest. She wished she could pull Helena aside and kiss her in celebration.

She couldn't, though. There were people around, teammates; there was the rest of the tournament to play. Besides, it was four-thirty, and her parents would be wondering why she was late. When Helena was busy gathering her papers and switching sides for the next match, Myka slipped out and went home.

————————

She knew which hours calculus was taught and made it a point to walk by the classroom before and after each class. She found Helena after sixth period.

"Hey, you looked really good at the Scholar Bowl match."

Helena grinned. "I thought those were your curls I spotted back there."

Myka shrugged and tried not to blush. "I happened to walk by when I left the library. I couldn't stay, though."

"Shame. We won the whole tourney - or should I say, I won the whole tourney."

"So modest," Myka teased.

A boy came up and interrupted them. It was Alex. He was in Myka's year, but he'd been a varsity basketball starter since they were freshmen and had always acted like he was above everyone else.

It apparently made him think he was good enough to talk to Helena.

"Hey there, what's up?" He didn’t glance at Myka.

"I'm going to guess not your sociology grade," Helena said.

"Aha," Alex laughed and pointed at her like it was a good joke. "Yeah, not at all. Hey, I wanted to invite you to this party we're having tomorrow night over at The Park."

"Oh, did you? That's nice."

Myka had felt disappointed over being interrupted and then ignored, but the impatience in Helena's voice made her feel a bit better.

Alex just looked expectant. "So... do you want to come?"

"I think I want to get to class."

"And the party?"

"No."

Alex nodded. "Okay, well, think about it." He started walking away. "Tomorrow. The Park. Nine-o'clock. See you there."

Helena sighed after he'd left. "That buffoon makes sociology class a chore every day. It's infuriating." She turned back to Myka. "Want to go to a party tomorrow night?"

"I...uh..." Myka shook her head. "He was just inviting you."

"The thing about verbal invites is they become the property of whomever hears them," Helena said. "So now, I'm inviting you."

Myka fidgeted and glanced around at the emptying hallway. "I'm going to be late."

Helena walked with her as she headed for last period. "Do you not want to go?"

"No, not really. I don't really do parties." She saw Helena frown and worried she would push the subject. "I'll see you later, okay?" And then, she rushed up the stairs.

————————

"I'm not sure why ... we never ... took advantage of this ... before."

Helena was talking about Myka's penchant for arriving at school incredibly early. Helena also had this penchant and had concluded the extra time in the mornings was a prime opportunity to pull Myka into the girl's locker room for make out sessions.

Myka was supposed to be practicing fencing that morning. Not that she was complaining as Helena's tongue licked across the roof of her mouth. She darted her own tongue out to tangle with Helena's and pushed in to run it over her teeth. It was good so few people used the locker rooms before school. They’d be in a lot of trouble if someone saw them. Wasn’t this why boys weren’t allowed in here?

Helena pulled away, and Myka groaned. She twisted her fingers through Helena's hair, arm still around the girl's neck to keep her close. It was a new addiction, playing with her hair. Myka loved running her fingers through it and not getting them tangled or stuck. Helena's hair was so, so smooth. It was intoxicating.

"Do you really not want to go to the party tonight?"

"What?" Her mind was still stuck on tongue and lips and pretty hair.

"Why don't you want to go?"

Myka blinked. "I told you. I don't do parties."

"But you went to that bonfire for the football game."

"Pete made me. He practically guilted me into it."

"Well, I don't want to guilt you into going." Helena leaned in, her breath warm and teasing. Their lips were so close, yet still too far from each other. "But I can promise tonight will be fun if you attend."

Myka licked her lips. She was torn. "Everyone will wonder why I'm there."

Helena kissed her briefly, hand toying with the neckline of Myka’s shirt. "We won't hardly see anyone there. No one will wonder a thing."

Myka's throat stuck. That was what wanting felt like, that strong and heavy pulling in her gut climbing up to choke her.

"Okay," she breathed out. "If I can convince my dad, okay."

"Leave that part to me."

————————

 _Leave that part to me_ apparently meant _I'll con him with the pretense of an academic crisis_ , because that's what Helena did. She showed up around eight, spinning a story of an upcoming human anatomy test that she was scared of failing and how she desperately needed Myka's help to not ruin her future. It took some work, but in the end, her father caved. She was allowed to leave with Helena, sans curfew, to help her study.

"But don't make a bunch of noise if you come in late,” he said as they left. “And you're still helping in the store tomorrow."

Helena put the keys in the car’s ignition. "Does your father think you’re a slave?”

“I get paid.” A little. Enough for gas money and weekly fast food outings with Pete. “Saturdays are really busy at the store. He needs the extra help.”

“If he needs the extra help, he should ask one of your siblings. How many brothers do you have?”

Oh. “I just have a sister.” Helena gave her an odd look, and she forced a little smile and shrugged. “The name of the store doesn’t mean anything. He just thought the ‘and Sons’ sounded classier.” She clenched her hand against her leg. No, explaining the bookstore’s name sucked just as much as it did freshman year when she’d explained it to Pete.

Helena held her gaze a second too long considering they were driving. When Myka thought to say something about it, she had turned back to the road.

“Then, I suppose he has your sister to help with the store.”

“Yeah.” Not that Tracy actually helped much. Her sister seemed to have too much of a life to help their father. She had a large circle of friends, she had freshman homecoming escort, she had class president. Two weeks ago, her English teacher had held up her essay as an example of good writing, and upperclassmen had congratulated her for it. Yes, it was impressive because that English teacher was tough, but still.

At least, Myka had that year of straight A+’s on her report card. Tracy had never managed that.

Myka looked to her left to bring her mind back to the present. Helena seemed to be mulling over something.

"Do you know where the party is?"

"Actually, no," Helena admitted. "Haven't the foggiest notion on which park they were having it."

"It's not a real park. They just call it that. I think it's somebody's yard that used to be part of a playground or something. I don't know. Pete's the one who's been there." She wondered if she'd have to call him and then try to explain why she was looking for this party.

Helena pulled into an empty bank lot and parked the car.

"Do you want me to call Pete for directions?" She’d do it. She didn’t want to, but she’d do it. He probably wouldn’t ask too many questions. Tonight, anyway.

Helena pursed her lips. "Let's not go to the party."

"I can get directions. It's not a problem."

"No, that's not it.” Helena shook her head. “Let's just not go."

"But you wanted to go." Myka frowned.

"Yes, and you didn't."

"And then I said I would." There was a whole lot of kissing and closeness that was used to convince her, even.

"Well, I've changed my mind."

Myka sighed, not sure what was going on. Did Helena just not want to take her anymore? Would she take her back home?

"Let's do something else."

Well, Helena still seemed to want her around.

"Something else, like what?" Myka glanced around at the town around them. She couldn't think of anywhere else to go.

"Anything you want. What's something your parents never let you do?"

Myka sighed again and stared out the windshield. There was nothing her parents wouldn't let her do that she actually wanted to do. At least, nothing relevant to the moment. She didn't harbor secret desires to sneak out in the middle of the night to get drunk and vandalize a swimming pool or anything. She was a boring person.

"I guess we could walk."

"Alright, we'll walk."

Myka wasn't sure of the legalities of leaving a car parked in the lot of a closed bank, but her uncertainties and concerns over Helena backing out of the party outweighed her concerns for towing. They walked down the sidewalk on a street running parallel to the main road where there were less cars to watch for. The night was cool and breezy, and Myka hugged her jacket tighter around her.

"Did I get your hopes up for the party only to disappoint you?" Helena asked quietly like she believed disappointment was, in fact, the emotion burning through Myka right then, and she felt bad about causing it.

"No." Because the emotion running through her and wrapping around her middle felt closer to fear than disappointment. Or something else equally unpleasant. "You're right. I didn't want to go." Myka stared down at the sidewalk as she walked because the lights on this street weren't very good. "I just don't understand what happened. Why did you suddenly change your mind?"

"Because," Helena said. And stopped like it was a reason when it wasn't even a sentence.

"Because why?"

"I wanted to be with you in a different way."

Whatever that meant. She would guess Helena hadn't intended 'different' to mean 'let's wander the streets aimlessly'.

But Helena must have already been searching for a solution to that problem.

"What is Scoops?"

"Where?" Myka stopped and walked back to the corner where Helena was peering towards the main road. Across the street she saw the happy, summery sign for the Scoops shop.

"It looks like an ice cream shop," Helena said.

"Yeah, it is." Her friend turned her eyes up to her. "Do you want ice cream?"

"Do _you_ want ice cream?"

Yeah. She did now that she'd seen the sign.

"Maybe."

Helena grinned, took her hand, and pulled her up the street to visit Scoops.

————————

Helena insisted on paying for both of them.

"I did lie quite heavily to your father to bring you here."

"I'm not sure why that means you buy me ice cream," Myka said, scooping up a bite of vanilla and caramel. "But I'll take it." The weirdness of the night seemed to be fading with every second they were in the brightly lit store. The sugar helped, too.

“Where are we going now?” she asked when they were back outside.

Helena looked around the street. Myka noticed the traffic was dying down, and half the stores were dark.

“Is there somewhere not quite so open where we could finish our ice cream?”

Myka wasn’t sure about ‘less open’, but she did know somewhere more secluded. They walked back to the car, and she directed Helena to the city park. It didn’t close until eleven, but no one tended to visit after dark. They’d have no problem finding a place to be alone.

Helena pulled in beside a park shelter and got out. Myka followed. It didn’t feel as windy here, maybe because of the hills surrounding this section of the park. They leaned against the car to finish their ice cream and chatted.

“You really don’t read science-fiction?” Helena tossed their empty containers in the trash can and walked back.

“No. I mean I’ve read the classics like Jules Verne and H. G. Wells, and I’ve read most of Ray Bradbury’s works. But I haven’t been interested in the genre as a whole.”

“Then, what genres do interest you?” Helena stopped in front of her and rested her hand on the side mirror which also put it in close proximity to Myka’s waist. It was too near for Myka to ignore, and she brought her own hand up to run her fingers over Helena’s. Helena turned her hand over to tease her back.

“Um.” The finger games were distracting. “I guess I read the classics, like I said. And books on history, but that’s non-fiction. Oh.” She bit her lip and almost pulled back her hand before admitting this. “Mysteries. I really like mysteries.”

It felt childish to admit, like she ran around playing detective instead of paying attention to the real world, but she couldn’t help it. She enjoyed being caught up in the suspense of a mystery novel and trying to pinpoint the culprit before the characters did. It was exciting. Maybe it was like Pete once said: she was addicted to puzzles. She thought there were worse things to be addicted to.

“You like playing detective.” Helena grinned. Myka sighed at the echoing of her thoughts and hoped the street lamp a few dozen yards away was too dim to reveal her blush. “What mysteries do you like?”

“All of them.” It wasn’t an exaggeration. “When I was a kid, I read Encyclopedia Brown, Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, and then it was Sherlock Holmes and Agatha Christie, and then I found Anthony Bishop’s books.”

“Who’s Anthony Bishop?”

“Crime novelist from the ‘40s.” Myka couldn’t stop the smile that broke out. “His books are amazing. I was obsessed with them. My mom had trouble getting me out of my room for dinner.”

“It sounds like you’re still obsessed with them.” Helena’s eyes sparkled with the amused grin she still wore.

Myka shrugged and actually felt the heat on her cheeks this time. Red didn’t show up in orange light, did it?

Helena interlaced their hands and took the half-step to bring their bodies together. “You know, you’re absolutely adorable when you go on about something you love.”

Now, she was blushing and couldn’t breathe. And had what felt like the dorkiest smile spreading across her face. “Yeah?”

Helena nodded and leaned forward to kiss her.

“I think you’re pretty adorable, too,” she whispered when Helena pulled back. It wasn’t the word she wanted to use, but it was the easiest one to say. She recaptured the kiss to stop any response Helena might make and threaded her free hand through the girl’s hair. Helena kissed back, mouth opening, and their tongues tangled with each other. The remnants of chocolate and nuts mingled with the aftertaste of caramel in Myka's mouth. She dropped Helena’s hand to wrap around the girl’s waist and tug her closer (not that she could get much closer: Helena was already pressing tightly against her).

Helena shivered from a sharp breeze that found its way through the hills. She broke away, and Myka whimpered.

“Let’s get back in the car.”

“No, I don’t want to leave yet.” Myka clutched at her.

“We’re not leaving.” Helena kissed her again. “Not going anywhere, but inside from the wind.” She opened the back door.

Myka still didn’t like separating from Helena, but she did it and slid into the backseat. She left room for her friend to sit, but when Helena got in, she climbed over to settle on Myka’s lap. Myka licked her lips and rested her hands on Helena’s thighs. This was new. But very, very okay.

Helena kissed her, slower than she’d done outside, lingering with every pull. She used her tongue to play and coax instead of tease. It still worked to shorten Myka’s breath and wipe her mind blank, but it replaced the feeling of urgency with one of melting. Helena's hands went to the collar of Myka's jacket and pushed it back off her shoulders. Myka got tangled for a moment as she helped remove it - part of the jacket was still pinned against the seat - but ultimately succeeded in pulling it off. Helena chuckled and returned to kissing her. Myka had a easier time removing Helena's jacket.

As they kissed, Myka let her hands roam further than she had previously. Helena sitting on her lap made this easier. She could run her fingers up Helena's legs, slide an arm all the way around her back. The freedom might have gone to her head a bit. When her hand drifted to where Helena’s shirt was tucked in, she found herself wishing she could touch skin.

Then, Helena’s hand found _her_ skin.

Her thumb had brushed its way under the hem of Myka’s shirt. The rest of her hand had followed and was now settling around Myka’s side. She felt goosebumps rise up, part from the shock and part from the coolness of Helena's hand. The skin-on-skin contact sitting just on the edge of her ribs forced her to break from the kiss and try to catch her breath.

Helena kissed her way down to her neck and began sucking near a tendon or a muscle that Myka swore she knew the name of ten minutes ago. But as Helena’s thumb teased circles across her ribs and her fingers traced the same few inches up and down her back, Myka’s thoughts dropped into a running mantra of _please please please please_. She wanted the hand to travel further up. She wanted Helena to touch her.

Her own hand curled into Helena’s hip, pulling on her shirt. A section came free from her jeans, and Myka realized she could convey her desires without speaking.

Her hand tightened again, but didn’t make a move to rise up or to continue pulling Helena’s shirt free.

Now that the idea held weight in her mind, her body was hesitant to follow through with it. She tried to think, to convince herself to do it, but Helena had moved to sucking and biting on the bottom of her earlobe and - _god_ \- did that feel amazing.

Myka made her move before she could second-guess herself again.

Her hand traveled up, more brushing over the fabric of her shirt than doing any real touching, until the tips of her fingers made contact. She traced up, feeling the lines of Helena’s bra beneath her shirt, and realized just how thin the shirt was.

Helena moaned and rested her head against Myka's when she eased her palm in to cup Helena’s breast. Myka abandoned her personal wants in favor of more touching. She pressed up, gently squeezing Helena's breast before releasing to trace over the contours. She ran her fingers underneath and was frustrated by how much the bra was in her way. Her fingers traveled back up and brushed over a spot that made Helena’s breath cut short. Myka smiled and ran her thumb down over her nipple again. She heard the leather by her head creak from where Helena gripped the seat.

She wanted to play with these reactions longer, but she also still wanted to explore. Her hand drifted across Helena’s chest, finding the collar of her shirt and the bare skin at the low neckline. She settled in the middle there, between her breasts, feeling them move against her wrist with each of Helena’s breaths. Her fingers hooked into Helena's shirt where the buttons held it closed. It was fastened two buttons down from the top - her shirts had always been fastened two buttons down from the top, and Myka knew that was always going to be distracting now.

Helena lifted her head up to look her in the eye. Myka kept her hand where it was, no longer certain where to move, but definitely not wanting to back away.

She didn’t have to know where to move. Helena moved for her.

She reached down for the hem of Myka’s shirt and tugged up. Myka listened. She leaned up and helped remove her shirt. Her heart pounded as she met Helena’s eyes again.

Helena kissed her, hard, and then trailed down her jaw and neck again, working her way down to Myka’s chest while her hands slipped Myka's bra straps off her shoulders.

Fair was fair, and Myka began struggling with undoing the buttons on Helena’s shirt - a task made all the more difficult by Helena shifting to bring her mouth lower.

“I should’ve chosen the front seat,” Helena muttered.

“What?”

Helena rose up. “It reclines.” She kissed her again and nudged her to her side. Slowly, because neither were willing to stop kissing, she directed Myka to her back, laid out across the seat. Helena settled on top but lower so she could kiss along Myka’s chest better.

Myka held a hand on the back of Helena’s head as the girl licked and left open-mouthed kisses along the exposed skin. When Helena moved her bra out of the way to take her breast in her mouth, Myka gasped and clenched her fingers.

Second base was so much better than she thought it could be.

————————

Myka couldn't contain the smile as Helena walked her to the back door of the bookstore. Her lips felt swollen, and she could still feel Helena's fingers and mouth against her skin. She squeezed Helena's hand as they reached the back step.

"So," Myka began. "Actual park definitely better than The Park." They both stepped up and stood by the door.

"I certainly thought so." Helena's eyes flicked down to watch her lips, and her hands ghosted over her waist. One dipped under her shirt again to run patterns across her stomach. Breathing was becoming a regular issue when she was around Helena.

Myka wasn't sure what else to say so she leaned down and kissed her. They kissed slow and lazy like they had the rest of the night to waste. Myka guessed they did - it was only one or so in the morning - except her parents would be upset if she was tired all day tomorrow (today). She just didn't want this night to end yet.

Helena pulled back. "I suppose I should let you go."

"Yeah." Myka looped her fingers through Helena's belt loops, and Helena kissed her again. After a few moments, Myka pulled back with a laugh.

"We're really bad at saying good night."

"I think we're very good at it." Helena grinned and caught her in another kiss. They didn't part again for many, long minutes.

"Alright," Helena said. "I'll let you go in to bed, now." Myka stuck her tongue out at the idea of bed, and Helena laughed. She gave her another quick kiss and whispered, "Goodnight, Myka."

"Goodnight." She held her arms around herself as Helena stepped down and walked back to the car. Halfway, Helena looked back at her over shoulder.

"I'll see you on Monday."

Myka smiled and nodded. Finally, as Helena climbed into the car and started the engine, she turned and walked inside.

————————


	3. Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last scene starts getting graphic.

The thing about losing one's shirt during a make out session was it became incredibly easy to lose it again. Myka could personally vouch for this because she was currently shirtless in one of the locker room shower stalls with Helena.

Helena, infuriatingly, still had her shirt on.

Myka worked on fixing this while Helena sucked hard on her bottom lip. She managed to unbutton the shirt enough to slip her hand in under her bra. Helena pushed against her palm, and Myka got annoyed with the clothing limiting her movements. She slid her hand out again, intending to finish removing the shirt, but her fingers brushed over a clasp. Helena was wearing a front-hook bra, she discovered.

Oh, her girlfriend was so smart. So very, very brilliant. Myka made short work of the hook and parted the bra out of her way. Helena let out a rough sigh as Myka ran her hands over her breasts. She pushed in closer, restricting Myka even as she was trying to encourage her. Myka slid her hands around and dropped down to use her mouth, instead. She kissed and licked and was rewarded with grasps and fingers clenching in her hair every time she passed over Helena's nipples. When her legs ached, she stood back up where Helena pulled her in tightly and attacked her mouth.

Voices and the door swinging open caught their attention.

They froze, still embraced and breathing hard, but fighting to be quiet for these intruders.

"Shotgun shower first!"

"Nuh uh! Senior! I overrule you."

Myka knew those voices. She'd had to fight with those voices over shower access before. But what was the cross-country team doing here? They'd stopped running two-a-days over a month ago.

The team continued bickering and picking shower order.

"They won't find us," Helena whispered. "They won't know we're here."

Myka wasn't so sure. She couldn't remember if they were in a broken shower or not. And even if they were in a broken stall, there was no guarantee the cross-country team would know that. Someone could still try to come in here.

The first wave of girls were finding their showers. Helena spun them around so Myka was now facing the curtains instead of the shower head.

"Shh." Helena tucked a curl behind her ear. "They don't know."

Her arm being brushed by Helena's shirt sleeve only made her more aware of just how naked she was up top. Shouldn't they be trying to get dressed? Water was running in some of the stalls already.

"Why are there only three working showers in this place?"

"I thought more of them worked."

Feet padded down in front of their stall. Myka really, really wished they had gotten dressed.

"Kate, I think the one across from mine works."

The feet walked away.

"The volleyballs are in there."

"Well, move them."

She heard banging and wheels turning as someone relocated the cart of volleyballs to the aisle. It was left in front of their stall, effectively blocking it off. Another shower started up.

"Holy shit, that's freezing!"

There was laughter from some of the other runners.

"That wasn't funny!"

Helena stroked her cheek. Her other hand rested against her waist.

"See?" She gave her a small smile. "No one knows. We're safe in here. We can wait until they're gone."

Myka took a shaky breath, trying to lose the vestiges of panic hanging over her. They had almost been caught, but Helena was right. They were safe now. No one would burst in and find them. They'd be left alone down here.

Steam carrying wafts of shampoo and body wash rose up from the working showers and made the air feel thick and warm. If she stood still enough, it almost felt like a blanket enveloping them, soothing away the fear of being trapped and exposed and giving her some comfort.

Helena smoothed a hand through her curls and continued murmuring. "It'll be alright. We'll stay quiet and leave when they're gone."

Her skin started to get that feeling where the humidity in the air made her think it should be wet, but it really wasn't. She became aware of her hands still on Helena's waist, half over her shirt and half touching bare skin. The water spraying nearby put images in her head of droplets running down Helena's stomach. She slipped her hand fully inside her shirt like she could chase them. Her fingers grazed over the skin less smoothly than before. The steam was making them stick.

She let her hand wander over Helena's hip, her stomach, her ribs, down her side. Helena's breathing became shallow like she was trying not to startle her. Like she could read her thoughts.

Myka looked up and got lost in her eyes while her hand continued to glide and roam. They were so dark; she didn't understand how they could be so dark and yet still brown. She couldn't look away.

Her hand slid up to cup Helena's breast again, and Helena's eyes fell shut.

"Myka," she breathed.

Myka almost whimpered. She no longer cared who else was in the locker room and swept in to pull Helena into another kiss.

————————

"We probably shouldn't do that before school anymore."

"Do what?" Helena rebuttoned her shirt.

"All of that - the kissing, the losing clothes."

Helena flashed her a grin. "Darling, are you saying you're a bit too worked up to concentrate on class now?"

"A bit." Myka muttered and pulled her shirt back on.

Still wearing a smirk, Helena stepped over and hooked her fingers in Myka's jeans. "There are remedies for that." Her voice was ridiculously low and had more of an effect on Myka than most of their fooling around had caused. "Perhaps, we should try some next time."

_Can we try now?_ But the first bell rang, making her groan.

"Okay." Myka kissed her. "But not when the cross-country team's around." 

"Agreed." They kissed again, and then, Myka hurried out the door so she wouldn't be late to class.

————————

Myka stood in the hallway the next day, watching a scene play out that she hoped to god wasn't real, but knew it was. She could see it was.

Ryan was flirting with Helena.

Or trying to. Myka didn’t think the football player was succeeding. Helena continued switching out books at her locker like no one was there while Ryan's antics became more broad and goofy. He actually stooped to tugging on the ends of Helena’s hair.

Her hands curled into fists around her books.

Helena must have told him off (she hoped Helena told him off) because Ryan finally walked away. But he lingered in the doorway to the stairwell and looked back at her. Helena didn’t see, but Myka did.

It was the look of someone crushing.

Something churned in Myka’s stomach. She turned and hurried off to chemistry before Helena noticed her. In class, she shoved the sickening feelings down with deep breaths and a clenched jaw. Then, she buried them with every fact on electrolysis her teacher presented. She focused on the electron transfer between the copper cathode and anode, memorized the reaction equations. When that wasn’t enough, she read ahead in the book, found how to balance such reaction equations, and practiced them over and over and over. She told herself her chemistry grade had been slipping, remembered the A minus on her last homework assignment, how she was only pulling a 96% in this class. She could do better. She’d take careful notes and do better.

It almost worked. It almost let her forget.

————————

“You have to focus,” her fencing coach was saying. “That last guy got way too many hits on you.”

Myka should’ve won her first match of the tournament by a landslide not by the skin of her teeth. But she didn’t defend well enough and almost lost. She didn’t need her coach to point that out. She already knew.

“I’m just off today.”

He didn’t believe her. He didn’t say it, but she could tell. She had strengths, she had weaknesses, but she struggled only when opponents were better than her. She didn’t have nondescript ‘off’ days.

He gave her some more instructions and encouragement that she didn’t really hear, and then she stepped back on to the mats for the next match. She faced a girl this time, someone she hadn’t fought before. Maybe an out-of-towner looking for new challenges, maybe someone who had just moved here - Myka didn’t know.

She got the first hit in, but it carried more force than she normally used. She didn’t have to glance to the sidelines to see the unhappy look on her coach’s face. He didn’t like hard hits. Fencing was about footwork and skill, not aggression and power. Myka took a deep breath and tried to clear her mind.

The girl struck out, but the move was sloppy. Myka stepped clear of it without a problem. The girl went on the offensive again, with cleaner steps and sharper aim. Myka fended off every blow.

“Good!” her coach said after a particularly difficult block. Myka could feel the rush from competing building and spreading through her, shutting out the rest of the world.

She eyed up her opponent and settled in for the rest of the fight.

————————

She left the changing room with her fencing bag slung over her shoulder and the first place trophy clutched in her hand. She scanned the faces in the dwindling crowd, but it seemed her mother had already gone out to the car. Instead, she spotted Helena making her way towards her.

Her heart raced at the unexpected sight of those dark eyes and half-smile. She stepped forward to meet the girl, and Helena’s face blossomed into a full smile.

“Congratulations on your win.”

“Thanks.” She didn’t struggle when Helena reached out and plucked the trophy from her hand. The girl flipped it over, examined its features, and even seemed to weigh it in her palm.

“This is a very impressive trophy.”

Myka shrugged.

“You should be happier,” Helena said, handing the trophy back. “You placed first!”

“I only placed first because the boy who beats me moved on to college this year.” It was what her dad would point out when she told him how the tournament had gone. She’d found it hurt a little less if she’d already said it out loud before he could.

But, of course, Helena wasn’t aware of this, so Myka wasn’t surprised when she pulled a different meaning from her statement.

“Are you saying this is the first time you’ve won the whole tournament?”

She was a little surprised by what that different meaning was.

“Um, yeah. I guess it is.”

“Myka, that’s amazing!” Helena placed a hand on her arm and squeezed it. “Congratulations!”

She bit her lip, but the smile peeked out anyway. “Thanks.” She ducked her head.

“Though, I don’t see how anyone has ever beaten you. No one could touch you out there.”

“Well, that boy was really good,” Myka said. She readjusted the bag on her shoulder. “Plus, you know, older.”

She thought she spotted something softer in Helena’s eyes than what usually showed, but maybe it was the lighting in the gym.

“I’d wager you could have taken him tonight.”

Her stomach flip-flopped, and she squirmed and looked away. She knew she was blushing when Helena let out a small laugh.

“You don’t know that.”

“I do! You were brilliant.”

“Oh, and you’re such an expert on fencing now?” She sighed.

Helena cocked her head in thought. “Three hours of watching matches? Yes, I’d use the term expert now.”

Myka laughed. Helena grinned, wide and pleased.

“You’re so…” Myka trailed off.

“What?”

“I don’t know.” She shook her head. “Arrogant.”

Helena stepped closer and tugged on her jacket. “And you are not arrogant enough.” She moved her hand up to fiddle with the zipper. “First place fencer.”

A warm rush swept over her as Helena stared up at her with that look on her face. Like she was proud of her. Like she was impressed.

_Can I relax now? Are you mine?_ Myka wanted to ask.

But all she said was a quiet, “Thank you.”

Helena dropped her hand back to her side. “What are you doing now? Can we celebrate?"

Oh, how she wanted to say yes, get in Helena’s car, grab dinner, talk, not talk - anything. But it was approaching nine-o’clock on a school night, and her parents would never give her the permission.

“I can’t. I have to go home. I think my mom’s waiting for me outside.”

Helena nodded. “Then, I’ll guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Myka hated walking away. Her chest felt tight and heavy while every step sent more flecks of fear shooting through her gut. What if it didn’t mean anything? What if Helena had just been bored or restless or really into fencing?

She was almost to the door when she stopped to look over her shoulder. She saw Helena walking towards a different exit, presumably closer to wherever she had parked. Myka dropped her bag on the floor and hurried back.

“Helena! Wait!”

Helena halted and turned around. Myka pretended she wasn’t tired from the matches and winded by the short run. She forced her protesting lungs to cooperate so she could speak calmly.

“Why did you come? I mean, how did you even know I was fencing tonight?”

“I saw you rush off from school instead of heading up to the library, and I asked your friend Pete where you were going.” For the first time, a hint of uncertainty crossed Helena’s face. “Is it alright that I came?”

“Yeah, yeah!” Myka took a deep breath to stop the winded feeling and rushed words. “Yes, it’s alright. I’m,” she smiled. “I’m really glad you came out and watched.” She had to bite down the giddy feeling. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

Helena was smiling and wearing that soft look in her eyes again that might not just be the lights. So Myka leaned forward and kissed her. The trophy she was still holding bumped roughly into Helena’s shoulder, and she pulled back with a wince.

“I’m sorry!”

“Don’t be,” Helena laughed. She tugged her close again. Myka kissed her, careful to keep the trophy out of the way this time.

She let her head rest against Helena's after. “Okay, I have to go.”

“I’ll see you bright and early at school,” Helena murmured.

“Mmmhm.” Myka kissed her again. “Bye.”

“Goodbye.” Helena squeezed her hand before she left to run back to her bag.

When she got outside, her mother asked what had taken her so long.

“Sorry. I had to go back and check on something.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” Myka smiled and nodded. “Everything’s good.”

————————

“Culver’s.”

“What?” Myka zipped up her backpack and glanced at Pete.

“Culver’s,” he repeated. “For lunch, Saturday.”

It was Pete’s turn to choose the place for their weekly lunch. Myka wouldn't pick a restaurant until the day of, but Pete, for all his fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants persona, could get weirdly particular about their Saturday lunches. He kept mental notes of every deal going on in town so he could plan accordingly.

Of course, there was about a fifty percent chance he’d change his mind once Saturday rolled around. He’d either get impatient and eat at the chosen restaurant ahead of time, or, sometimes, his cravings just changed.

Myka hoped this was one of those weeks he changed his mind, because she really wasn’t a fan of Culver’s.

“I don’t want burgers.” She stood up with her backpack and shut her locker.

“They have chicken, too. But!” He clapped his hands. “More importantly, they have pumpkin spice custard right now. Come on! All that gooey goodness that's like eating pumpkin pie filling straight out of the can, but way better! Cause, you know, it's cold and basically ice cream. It's like the pumpkin pie with ice cream on top, blended into a shake.”

“Okay, I got it, Pete.” She should have guessed it was a dessert he was after. Pete was a pumpkin spice custard addict. Every year he'd circle October and November in his student planner and write 'PUMPKINS' really big across them. There would be no budging him from his choice this week.

“Fine, we’ll go to Culver’s on Saturday.” She laughed at the whoop Pete made and returned his high five.

“Yeah! I love pumpkin season.”

Myka was distracted from responding when she saw Helena walking towards them.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hello.” Helena stopped close to Myka. “Long time, no see.”

She had to roll her eyes at that, since they’d just seen each other before school. “Yeah, seven hours is such a long time.”

“It can be.”

A wave of warmth twisted in her stomach.

“You know what’s a long time, no see?” Pete said. “Toys in cereal boxes. Totally disappeared.”

Myka gave him a look. She was baffled and not just because she, _maybe_ for a second, forgot he was there.

“What?” He sounded defensive. “My mom went grocery shopping last night, and you know what the Frosted Cheerios came with? A book. What happened to the color-changing spoons that were also straws so you could drink up the extra milk in your bowl?” He made a slurping noise like he was demonstrating using the straw.

Helena turned, face puzzled, back to Myka. “I still can’t work it out. How exactly did you two become friends?”

“Oh, I know,” Pete answered. “I dissected the squid for her in biology.”

“No. He was just my bio lab partner.” Myka glared at him. “My very annoying lab partner.”

She hoped Helena would focus on her answer over Pete’s. No such luck.

“I thought you wanted to go to medical school. You didn’t strike me as someone who’d have trouble with dissections.”

“I don’t have trouble with them.” She crossed her arms and muttered, “It was just that one.”

“How come?”

Pete had been giggling too long. Myka punched his shoulder.

“Ow!”

“Don’t!”

“But it’s funny!”

“Yeah, you know what else is funny? How heavy dictionaries are.”

Pete cringed and stopped laughing (good). He turned his hips away from her even though she didn’t have a dictionary in hand to follow through on her threat (still good; it got him to shut up, anyway).

“Oww! You watch out for this one,” he told Helena. “She’s got a mean-streak.”

Shut him up only to embarrass her in a different way. “Pete!” And Helena was smirking through all of this which could not be a good thing.

“That’s something I was already aware of.” Myka frowned at her words. “I discovered it when she directed a sword at my throat.”

“I… but…” Myka sputtered while Pete oohed like she was in trouble. “No, but that wasn’t - you snuck up on me! I didn’t know you were there.”

“It’s alright,” Helena said, still smirking. “I found the whole event rather exhilarating.”

Myka swallowed and dug her nails into her palms. This time, she was acutely aware of Pete’s presence beside them and really wished he’d disappear.

“Hey hey hey! I -” Pete checked his empty wrist “- only have five minutes left to get to practice so I’d better get on that. Ladies, I will see you later.”

“Bye, Pete.” But she kept her eyes on Helena as she thanked whatever vibe Pete had picked up on to send him away.

“So.” Helena tilted her head and slid a few inches closer. Myka wetted her lips. “Are you going to explain about the squid or perhaps why your lab partner just signed the word 'tentacle' behind your back?”

“He did what?” Myka spun around, but her traitorous friend was already gone. “I’m going to kill him.”

“Is that a no, then?”

“No!” Myka turned back and shuddered. “I don’t want to talk about it. Ever.”

She was afraid Helena would push her until she spilled, but her girlfriend only murmured: “Alright, Myka.” and kissed her cheek.

“We won’t talk about it.” She slipped her hand into Myka’s. “Shall we go to the library now? I have an abhorrent sociology paper to research.”

“Yeah, okay,” Myka nodded with relief. She threaded their fingers together and let Helena lead the way.

————————

Pete and Myka were at lunch the next day when one of Pete’s friends rushed over and interrupted.

“Dude, Ryan just got shut down.”

“What? By who?” Pete asked.

“You know that British girl he’s been crushing on?” Myka’s stomach dropped. “He asked her out in third hour.”

“What happened?” But the boys ignored her.

“Oh, man,” Pete groaned. “I told him not to go after her.”

“Yeah, well since when did Ryan not ask out a girl he liked?”

Ryan had asked out Helena. He’d actually done it. He’d asked her out. Myka dropped her granola bar on the table and tried to breathe normally.

“I feel bad for the guy. I mean, first Ellie dumps him, and now the new girl shoots him down.”

“Ryan really needs to learn how to listen. I told him Helena wasn’t interested in him.”

The sound of her name registered with Myka to make her feel sick. How could that football jerk have asked her out? Why did he have to do that?

Pete’s friend was ribbing him over something, but it was all noise to Myka. She stood up and gathered the rest of her lunch.

“I have to go.” She tossed her trash and food into a trash can on the way to the cafeteria door. Pete rushed after her and cut her off before she could walk out.

“Whoa, whoa, where are you going?”

“Away.”

“Look, I know you're upset, but it didn't mean anything.”

“I'm not upset.” She tried to step around him.

“She turned him down, Mykes.”

“Leave it.”

"But -"

"Pete! Back off!"

He let her leave.

————————

She tried to convince herself it didn’t matter. Helena pulled her into locker rooms, kissed her in parked cars, watched her fencing competitions and studied with her in the library. She was hers. It didn’t matter how much Ryan flirted with Helena or if he tried to ask her out. Helena was taken.

Wasn’t she?

The image of Ryan and Helena kissing in the parking lot from last month swam into her head and wouldn’t leave.

That was before. She turned him down this time. She didn’t like him anymore.

This reassurance got her through the afternoon. In fact, Myka was almost calm when school ended. Then, she ran into Helena by the gym.

The girl launched into a rant without preamble. “Why do people always have the strangest notions of solidarity? One no, and suddenly I’ve chosen sides in a break-up.” Helena pointed over her shoulder to three cheerleaders now entering the gym. “They think of me as some ally now.”

Myka didn’t really care. Her heart was racing with the close proximity, and she felt like she needed to say something about today. “Helena.”

“I mean, it was better than being shouted at, which I’ve had done, but it’s still ridiculous. There’s always so much drama surrounding these things. I don’t understand it.”

Myka recognized that part of this adrenaline rush was fear creeping back in. She needed to talk about this. “Helena.”

Helena's eyes flicked up to hers. "What is it?"

Suddenly, Myka couldn't talk. All the words escaped her, and she was left with this itching sense to move, to do something, anything. "Come on." She took Helena's hand and pulled her along past the gym doors.

"Where are we going?"

Myka pulled her down the stairs to the tunnel that ran beneath the bleachers and then through one of the doors off the side. It put them in the girl's locker room, the secondary one not typically used for varsity sports.

Helena glanced around at the open room with the lockers all pushed against the walls. "Darling, I'm not quite sure this is the best place for a snog."

Myka kissed her and shoved her against the lockers.

"It's the P.E. lockers. No one uses them after school." Helena seemed satisfied with this and responded to her second kiss with enthusiasm. They dropped books and bags and kicked them out of the way without looking. Myka kissed her hard, wanting to keep her breathless, and let her hands roam. Helena groaned when she passed roughly over her breasts. No longer appreciative of the feel of fabric beneath her hands, Myka reached down and pulled Helena's shirt up and over her head. She let it drop to the floor and unclasped Helena's bra to move it out of her way, too. Finally free to touch anything she liked, Myka did just that, running her hands over Helena's back and arms, down her chest and stomach. She broke away to follow that last path with her mouth. When she sucked at Helena's navel, she earned a whimper.

"Myka."

Myka stood up to kiss her again, keeping her hands low around Helena’s hips. Helena was trying to get Myka's shirt off, but Myka didn't want to stop to cooperate. She slid her hands along the waistband of Helena's jeans and fumbled with the fastenings. She got them unbuttoned and unzipped and then slipped her hand inside beneath the layers.

Helena gasped. She spread her legs a bit to give Myka more room.

Myka leaned her head against hers. She was breathing just as hard as Helena. Somewhere beneath the raging whirlwind of her emotions was the prickling of panic. She hadn't planned for this to happen, had no idea what she was doing. Well, some idea of what she was doing, but she wasn't sure how to translate her own experiences into sex with another person.

She seemed to be doing okay, though. She had quickly found Helena’s clit and was keeping an even pace. Then, Helena's hand reached down to coax her fingers into doing it better.

"There," Helena breathed and kissed her when she rubbed against just the right spot. Myka worked at the spot and kissed her, on her lips, on her jaw, sucking and nipping at her ear. She fought to keep the pace and pressure steady despite the ache in her wrist and hand from the tightness of the jeans. She didn't know if it would work, but she wanted it to. She wanted Helena to come.

And then she did. Helena shook and gripped her shoulders tightly and pushed broken gasps into her mouth. Myka pushed her hand all the way into Helena's pants to cup her and push back against the aftershocks. She could feel the tremors and drops of moisture beneath her fingertips calling her, daring her to push in further. She didn't. She pulled out as Helena recovered and leaned her head back.

She blinked up at Myka for a moment and then, pulled her in for a rough kiss.

"Call your parents," she said. "Tell them something, anything you need to. I want you to come home with me."

Myka forgot what she told her parents as soon as she hung up. All she knew was she had permission to visit Helena with the condition she was home in time for dinner.

————————


	4. Part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First scene is smut. After it, the rating drops back down to T like the early chapters.

She was quiet during the drive over. They both were. Myka stared out the passenger window and focused on not shaking too much.

They pulled into an empty driveway.

"Are your parents home?"

"My uncle, and no. He's still teaching classes."

Myka didn't question that further. She let Helena take her hand and lead her upstairs to a bedroom. She assumed it was Helena's, but there wasn't much clutter or decoration to confirm that. She dropped her bag by a bookshelf while Helena set her books on a desk and shut the door.

Helena crossed over to kiss her. She moved soft and steady, but Myka was nervous and impatient. Her hands were itching to push clothing off again. 

"I think I've been wanting you for weeks," Helena breathed against her lips.

Myka didn't trust herself to respond to that, so she just pulled her back into a kiss and ran her hand up Helena's back, beneath her shirt. It didn't take much longer for Helena to also become annoyed with clothing, and their shirts, bras, and shoes were removed. Helena unbuttoned Myka's jeans too, before Myka stopped her and pushed her over to the bed.

"But it's your turn," she said as Myka undid and pulled off Helena's jeans.

"Don't care." Myka slid her hands over Helena's thighs and pushed up to kiss her. She got Helena to lie back on the bed and then moved down. As she slid off Helena's underwear, she became scared again of just how little she knew what she was doing. She kissed the inside of Helena's knee and focused on the way the girl's breathing changed the higher she rose. She wanted the sounds to drown out her nerves. She could do this, she told herself. She wanted to do it, so she could do it. With a final burst of confidence, she brought her mouth to Helena's center.

Helena took a sharp breath and ran her hands through Myka's hair to hold her there.

Myka experimented with licking and sucking until she found something that made Helena's grip tighten and her hips surge. Her breathing grew more erratic. Myka kept it up, increasing the pace the more Helena gasped and writhed. Helena muttered her name Myka, Myka, Myka. She seemed so close, yet she wasn't quite breaking, like she needed something more.

Myka did the only thing she could think of and shifted to slide her fingers inside. Helena's muscles squeezed around her, and the breaths that followed sounded almost like relief. Myka slid her, now wet, fingers in and out, but she was more focused on what she was doing with her mouth, so the pace was slow and out of sync. She started to wonder if she should change it or if that would mess everything up when, in another minute, Helena came apart and was spasming tightly around Myka's fingers. Myka moved her mouth away and rose up to hover her. She pressed her hand hard against Helena, pushing her fingers further in where she'd wanted to go back at school. Helena wrapped her arms around her and yanked her down for a kiss.

She broke away for air, and Myka watched her slowly calm down and her breathing relax. Her mind mulled over the taste she now had in her mouth. It wasn't a good or a bad taste, she decided. Just new. Helena was spread out beneath her completely naked, and that was new too. But good. She thought this all felt really good, and a glimmer of pride rose up in her chest. She thought she'd done pretty okay for her first time.

Suddenly, Helena flipped them over to be on top and kissed her again.

"Now, it's your turn," she said with a smile.

Myka was fine while Helena nipped at her neck and licked her breasts (more than fine, actually; it all felt amazing), but when Helena moved down to remove her pants something inside her froze. A bolt of panic ran through her. She didn't want Helena to notice, but her muscles had tightened up and she was shaking so badly that she wasn't surprised when Helena hooked her fingers into her underwear and stop. She saw Helena's expression change, and she shut her eyes while Helena crawled back up the bed to her. When she felt Helena leaning over her, she opened her eyes again.

"What's wrong?" Helena asked.

"Nothing." She shook her head and tried to smile.

"Myka."

"I'm fine." And she tried to sound fine. Or brave or turned on or, just something that wasn't absolutely, horribly petrified. This was stupid. She had just done - well, a hell of a lot with Helena. She shouldn't be this scared now, and why was she just noticing how cold being naked was?

Helena brushed her hand over her cheek and tried to push away some unruly strands of her hair, but they just bounced back after. "You know, we don't have to do anything more."

"No, I want to."

"But we don't have to."

Myka swallowed. To her frustration, the shaking was getting worse, not better. She wasn't being very convincing that everything was okay.

"We can stop here," Helena continued. Myka tried to argue with her, but Helena took her hand and cut her off. "Believe me, I'd very much like to continue. I still want to make you feel as good as you've made me, but not if you're uncertain. I don't want you to be uncomfortable." Myka didn't want to be uncomfortable either, but wanting hadn't cut down on the shaking yet. "Honestly, it's alright. It's okay, Myka."

It's okay was exactly the message Myka was mentally repeating to herself. _It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. She's your girlfriend._ Myka looked up into Helena's eyes and took a deeper breath. _She's your girlfriend. This is all okay. It's Helena. It's your girlfriend. It's okay._

And finally, she could feel it start to be okay. She could feel herself relaxing as Helena continued to murmur something and run her thumb over their clasped hands. She tilted up to kiss her, and Helena kissed her back, easy and slow. She brought her free hand up to Helena's cheek to deepen the kiss for a moment before pulling back.

"I want to keep going. I'm okay now." She felt mostly warm all over again (except for her toes which were probably never warm to begin with and she just hadn't noticed). The shaking was almost gone as she laid back down.

Helena didn't seem convinced. "Are you sure?"

Myka squeezed her hand and moved it down over her stomach between them. "Yeah, I'm sure. I want you to."

Helena kept her hand on her stomach and didn't move it further. She still seemed concerned, so Myka leaned up to kiss her again. She used one arm to prop herself up and used the other to brush across Helena's cheek and slide around her neck. Her abs and arm ached after a while, so she started to lean back. Helena followed her down until Myka was lying flat on the bed again.

Helena was starting to move her hand, brushing soft circles over Myka's stomach and even fluttering up occasionally to tease over Myka's breasts. But she wasn't moving lower, and Myka shifted with need and impatience. She broke away from the kiss.

"Please, Helena. Please."

Helena finally moved her hand lower. She ran her fingers down over the outside of her underwear. Myka could feel where the damp part of her crotch had been cooled by the air, but more than that, she could feel how much she wanted Helena to actually be touching her.

She squirmed, trying to move her body to Helena if Helena was going to keep moving this slow. Finally, Helena slipped her fingers under the side, keeping her touch light and teasing.

It felt intense and frightening, but not in a panicking way. It was something she wanted more of. And soon.

Helena caught her gaze, and then removed her hand. Myka whimpered, but the absence was only so Helena could remove her underwear. She was hit with a stab of fear over being so exposed. Then, Helena was back, at her side but leaning over her, and with her hand sliding more firmly against her. Her fingertips dipped inside, just enough to make Myka crave. She tilted her hips up, reaching for more. Helena leaned down to kiss her before slipping her fingers fully inside.

"Oh god."

Myka had used fingers on herself before, but it hadn't felt like this. This was better.

Helena rocked her hand in and out and whispered encouragements between kisses.

"That's it. That's it, Myka. So beautiful."

Myka pulled at her shoulders, trying to bring Helena closer. Everything felt so, so good. Also, maybe embarrassing. But also, seriously good. She did briefly worry if she'd make Helena's arm too tired, and then she couldn't worry about anything at all. Just want.

She shuddered and then broke apart, whimpering and whole body crashing in the waves. Helena finally fell closer, hands around her, knee between her legs, murmuring as she pressed kisses to her face.

"I've got you. You're alright. I've got you."

Myka shuddered one last time before relaxing against Helena and giving in to the gentle caresses through her hair and soft words.

————————

Myka pulled on her other sock. She sat on the edge of Helena's bed, completely redressed. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do now. Helena walked around in only her button-down and panties. The shirttails barely touched her thighs. 

Myka swallowed and looked away. She pulled out her phone and checked the time. It was almost five. Her family would have dinner ready some time before six.

Helena padded over and sat beside her on the bed. She folded one leg under and turned her body sideways to face her.

"Do you still have your English essay to finish?"

Myka nodded. "Editing, anyway. I finished the rough draft when I got home last night."

"I still have that sociology report to finish. I keep waiting for it to become fun, but it's such a bore." Helena's eyes sparkled with the late afternoon sun. "I find you much more interesting."

Myka smiled and kissed back when Helena leaned in.

"Well, I definitely find you more interesting than writing an essay, too."

Helena kissed her again. "Are you hungry? We could find something to eat. My uncle teaches an evening class on Wednesdays, so I'm on my own tonight."

"I can't." She fidgeted with the seam of her jeans. "I promised my mom I'd be home for dinner."

Helena's smile faded, but she nodded. "Do you have to leave now?"

"Yeah. So I won't be late."

Helena squeezed her knee and stood up. "Let me get dressed, and I can drive you."

"No, you don't have to do that." Myka stood up, too. "I can just take the bus."

"The bus?"

"Yeah, there's a stop not far from here, and it goes right down my street." She was feeling edgy, and wanted to get away somewhere by herself.

Helena was making it difficult. "Don't be ridiculous." She shook her head. "I can just drive you."

"No, but then you'd have to drop me off and drive back. The bus is just easier. It's fine."

Helena stayed silent for a while. Myka tried not to shift around, but her toes curled in, and she realized she wasn't wearing shoes yet. So she busied herself with finding her shoes and putting them back on.

"Alright," Helena said. "If you don't want me to drive you."

Myka was pretty sure that was her permission to leave, but crossing the room to fetch her backpack and then slinging it over her shoulders felt odd, like she wasn't supposed to be doing it. But no other actions felt right, either. She turned to face Helena, and the girl walked over.

She didn't say anything. Myka thought she looked a lot shorter in bare feet.

She leaned down to kiss her, and Helena brought a hand up to rest lightly on her cheek.

"I'll see you later?"

Myka nodded. "Bye." Then, she walked out and found her way down the stairs to the front door.

————————

The bus ride was a numbing blur. She sat, arms curled around her backpack in her lap, and let the sounds around her fade into white noise. It was a soothing hum that shattered as soon as she walked into her home. The sounds of her family members cut straight through and drilled themselves into her brain. She hadn't seen her father when she walked in, but she could hear him shifting boxes downstairs. Her mother was moving something in the oven. Her sister had the TV on in the living room. The sounds were grating and not what she wanted to deal with right then, so she retreated into her room and shut the door.

She sat in the middle of her bed, back against the wall and knees pulled up to her chest. She was shaking again - oh. No, she wasn't. At least, not like before when she had been nervous. She just had her arms clutched too tightly around her legs, and her muscles were protesting. She tried to relax them, but it was like they wanted to stay tense even as it made them ache.

Maybe she should get up. She should shower, right? At least wash her hands. But moving, particularly moving outside this room, felt like an impossible feat.

Something was buzzing. It took her a moment to realize it was her phone, tucked back in her backpack during the bus ride. She unfolded herself and leaned down to pull it out. The call ended just as she tried to answer it.

She frowned down at the unfamiliar number. It was her area code, though, so she called it back.

"Hello?"

The voice sounded accented, but Myka couldn't be sure. "Hi. You called me?"

"Myka! Yes! Yes, I did just call. This is Helena."

She'd been ninety percent certain of that, but it was nice to have it confirmed. "So you really did get my number from someone, then."

"Yes," Helena said slowly. "I did." There was a pause. "I suppose, I was just calling to see if you've made it home alright."

"Oh." She felt like a jerk. "Yes. I'm home now."

"Good. I'm sorry to bother you."

"No, no, no. You're not," Myka rushed. She took a breath. "I'm sorry I didn't answer. My phone was still in my bag on vibrate, and I didn't hear it right away."

"That's alright. You called me back."

"Yeah." Though, she didn't know what to say now that they were on the phone with each other. There were still moments she could feel Helena's hand inside her, and she didn't know how to process that.

"Well, anyway. Since you wouldn't let me drive you, I wanted to be sure you arrived home."

Myka held the phone tighter. "I'm sorry."

"Don't. You have nothing to apologize for."

She was pretty sure she did. Otherwise, she wouldn't feel so miserable up here in her room.

She must have been silent for too long because Helena spoke again. "I should let you go."

"No, wait!"

"Yes?" But Myka couldn't find any words to say. She just knew she didn't want to hang up yet.

She took a breath. "I'm sorry."

"Myka -"

"No, I shouldn't have taken the bus. I should've let you drive me home."

"It's fine."

"No, it's not. I just..." She didn't know how to go on. "I just..."

"Ran."

Myka swallowed and stared at her desk. "Yeah. Kind of."

"I pushed you too far, didn't I?"

"No, you didn't." She shook her head.

"I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry."

"But you didn't. Really, you didn't." Myka ran her hand through her hair, trying to think. "That wasn't it." She almost wished it was. Having a debate over whether she was ready for sex or not seemed simpler than the emotional mess inside that she couldn't untangle. "I just got scared, I guess."

"I never wanted to scare you."

"I know." Myka brought her legs back up on the bed to curl into herself. "I know you didn't." They were both silent for another moment.

"So, are we okay?" Myka asked.

"I'm not sure. You'll have to tell me."

Oh. Yeah, she guessed that was hers to decide given that she'd ran out in the first place.

"I think so. I want us to be." She heard her mother call her to dinner. "Crap."

"Are you being called for dinner?"

"Yeah, but I don't want to go." She didn't want to hang up, but her parents would be upset if she was late for dinner. She figured they'd already be questioning her about visiting Helena after school. She didn't want to add to that.

"You can call me later."

"I can?"

"If you want to. I don't mind."

Myka's heart felt like it was speeding up. "Yeah. Okay, I'll call you back after dinner."

"Alright, good." Helena sounded a bit happier which made Myka feel better.

"Good. Well then, I'll talk to you in a little while."

"Alright." A hesitation. "Bye."

"Bye." It was hard hanging up, but Myka focused on how they'd get to talk again in less than an hour. She saved Helena's number in her phone and then went to wash up for dinner.

————————

They stayed up doing their homework together over the phone. It might not have been what they were expecting (not that Myka could define what she'd been expecting, and she definitely didn't know what Helena had expected), but it did ease Myka's worries. Enough that she could yawn during her trig proofs and chuckle every time Helena muttered "bollocks" over her physics homework. They agreed to take a one day rest on their essays since neither were due yet. Helena claimed math fatigue from manipulating equations. It seemed like a solid enough reason to Myka since she felt both mentally and physically fatigued. Still, she edited her English essay for half an hour after hanging up.

Something Helena knew when she saw her the next day at school.

"And how far did you get in your English essay last night?"

Myka tried to deny it, but then gave in. "Just the first page." She'd need to comb through the other three pages today. "How'd you know I worked on it?"

"Because it's due tomorrow. I didn't really think you could let it sit until tonight."

It seemed immensely unfair that Helena knew that about her.

"Darling, I'm teasing you." Helena tugged on the strap of her backpack. "It's good you have a better work ethic than me."

Myka wrinkled her nose. "Don't know about that. I have been skipping a lot of fencing workouts lately."

"I know," Helena said, still holding on to Myka's backpack and moving backwards as they walked towards the locker room. "And I feel guilty over that. It's something you enjoy, and you're so talented at it." She halted them by the door. "Which is why I'm letting you practice this morning."

Myka tilted her head. "What?"

Helena looked serious. "I want you to do well at your next tournament. I won't be the reason you lose."

"I don't typically win," she said before realizing that wouldn't be the best argument. "It's not like I'm getting rusty at fencing. I still have my evening classes."

"I know, but you should resume your morning ones, as well." Helena leaned up to kiss her. "I'll see you later." She smiled, but Myka thought it looked pained.

Fencing in the small gym that morning felt hollow and lonely.

————————

Helena continued this distance through the rest of the week.

But it wasn't like she was _distant_ and avoiding Myka entirely. She actually sought her out more often, and her soft touches and tendencies to toy with Myka's things occurred more frequently. It was other physical aspects that Helena seemed to pull away from. There hadn't been any more make out sessions, no fooling around in locker rooms. If she kissed her, it was chaste. It all left Myka feeling awkward and confused.

On Friday after school, Myka walked with Helena through the parking lot. Anxiety buzzed through her because she wasn't sure why the girl was walking with her. But she tried to think of it as a good thing. Helena was there and not far, far away or with someone else.

The smidge of happiness twisted up with the anxiety to form an awful knot in her stomach.

"Would you be able to come over today?" Helena asked. Before Myka could respond, she added, "Oh wait, you have your volunteer work. Well, perhaps tomorrow." She looked up hopefully at Myka. "Could we do something tomorrow?"

"I work at the bookstore tomorrow." Myka thought it came off as an excuse when she didn't mean it to be.

Helena turned away. "That's right."

Myka didn't want this opportunity to disappear and ran through her options for alternatives. "But today would probably work."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I just have to ask my mom."

Helena didn't look certain. "What about your volunteering?"

"It's fine," Myka insisted. "I've been there every week since I started. I can miss one day if you want me to come over."

"Well, yes, I'd like you to."

"Okay." She nodded, trying to clear the unease from Helena’s face. "Just let me call my mom."

She walked away to make the call. Nerves fluttered in her stomach while she waited for her mother to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Hi, mom."

"Is something wrong with the car?"

"No, the car's fine." Well, the key fob batteries were still sketchy. "I was just wondering if I could go home with Helena now."

"Helena?"

"Yeah, my friend. We're actually study partners," Myka began fabricating. "In chemistry. And we have this end-of-the-chapter packet to work on." She heard her mom let out a heavy sigh. "What?"

"Myka, if you want to hang out with your friends, just say so. I don't know why you keep lying."

"I -" she didn't know what to say. "I don't lie." Except for every time she'd done something with Helena, but her parents wouldn't have said yes to the truth.

"It's not like your father and I don't let you do anything. We let you go out with Pete all the time."

_Because you both love Pete. He's the son you never had._ "Okay, never mind. I won't go anywhere tonight."

"No, you may go. I just want you to stop lying about schoolwork to get permission."

Myka folded her arm across her chest. "Okay, I'm sorry."

"So, where are you going?"

"To Helena's." Myka leaned back against the car.

"And what time will you be home?"

"What time do you want me home?"

Her mother sighed, and Myka rolled her eyes. Her foot was bouncing from agitation.

"Be home by ten."

"Fine. Bye." She hung up on her mother before any answer and realized that had been a mistake. Now, she'd be in more trouble when she got home. Whatever. It was too late to undo it. Myka took a deep breath and made a much easier call to the hospital lab, letting them know she wouldn't be in today.

After she'd hung up again, Helena stepped over.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, everything's fine," Myka shook her head. "It's just my mom, but -" she huffed and put on a smile. No point in bringing it up. She'd just sound whiny. "It's okay. I can come over.

"Good." A smile peeked out on Helena's face. "Starting now? Or do you need to -"

"No. We can go now." Myka glanced around the parking lot. "Do you need to go get your car?"

"Actually, would you mind if I rode with you? My uncle drove me to school today."

"No, yeah, that works." And hopefully this awkwardness would end. Myka put her phone back in her bag and pulled out her keys. "Let's go."

————————

"I'm sorry for pulling you away from your volunteering."

Myka frowned and glanced over. "What? No, it's fine."

"Yes, but I keep dragging you away from your responsibilities."

"Helena, stop. I wanted to come over." She glanced over again and saw Helena frowning. "Really."

"Alright."

So much for ending the awkwardness.

————————

Again, there was no one home when they arrived at Helena's house.

"My uncle's probably grading homework sets at his office. But I asked yesterday, and he said it was alright."

Myka didn't know if that meant her uncle was alright with her coming over to the house or with them being at the house alone or something else entirely. Helena had a real problem with keeping things cryptic, and it was starting to get irritating.

"Just set your book bag anywhere. We can fetch it later."

Confused, Myka took off her bag and set it just inside the living room. She noticed the room was even more sparsely decorated than Helena's bedroom. It didn't seem to be used much.

"So, what are we doing?"

Helena twisted a ring on her finger. "I had something I wanted to show you. It's down this way."

As she led her through the plain halls in the opposite direction of the stairs, Myka became even more confused. She hadn't been assuming anything physical necessarily, but she'd figured even with talking, they'd be up in Helena's room. This was definitely not the way to Helena's room.

Helena flashed a look back, her eyes shining. "I thought you might like to see this." Myka didn't know what 'this' was, yet. "I hope you like it, anyway." Helena stopped at a door and pulled it open to reveal a set of stairs leading down to a basement. A strange basement that could have absolutely anything contained in it. Great. Myka braced herself and followed Helena down.

She had to stop halfway down as the room came into view. 

"Whoa."

Shelving units seemed to fill the room, all crowded with old looking objects and gadgets. As she approached the bottom of the stairs, she realized not all of the objects were actually old. Some were just designed to appear old-fashioned, kind of eighteen hundreds inspired. Myka got a steampunk impression from some of the gadgetry.

She followed more slowly, her irritation giving way to curiosity. Once in the room, she realized the basement stretched on further than she imagined and contained no walls. Only pillars spaced for support.

"This way." Helena led her through an aisle between shelves. It turned off in odd directions. Apparently the shelves weren't set up in a normal grid pattern. Everything on the shelves seemed as haphazardly organized, yet there were labels and signs dotting the shelves as if the mess made sense.

"What is this place?"

"My uncle's workshop." Helena ducked under a lamp that was clamped to one shelf. Myka side-stepped it, but bumped the opposite shelf and almost knocked a collection of wind-up toys over. "It's not really as large as it seems. It only gives off that illusion because of how much he's managed to crowd down here."

The contents of the shelves transitioned from complete objects to partially disassembled (or partially constructed?) objects and then into raw components like gears and sheets of metal. The last shelf was filled with coils of wire of varying colors and diameters before the aisle opened up into a clearing. Myka spotted signs on the ends of the shelves that showed a name and then an incoherent string of numbers and letters. It wasn't anything like the cataloging systems she was familiar with.

"Do you want to see what he's working on now?"

Myka pulled her attention away from deciphering the labeling system to look at Helena. "Okay." She followed the girl over to the tables that obviously served as a workbench. There were metal shavings scattered in places; air hoses ran up to drills hanging beneath the counter. Some large books that looked like manuals or handbooks were stacked on top - one of them flipped open. The wall was covered with a peg board full of wrenches and hammers and other tools.

On a stand perpendicular to the workbench, sat a large structure with an array of interconnecting gears and bars spidering underneath it. What appeared to be buildings rose up from the top of it. Myka thought it was a model of a street, or a partial model at least.

"My uncle likes to build things in his spare time," Helena explained. "Usually, he's working on an invention he's dreamed up. But sometimes, he builds more for the entertainment value like with this piece." She ran her hand along the edge and walked around the side of it.

"It's a town?" Myka guessed.

Helena nodded. "It will be a moving market street of people interacting and going about their lives. Do you see the gears?"

"They're going to move the people?"

"Yes." Helena came back around to her side. "And they'll all be moved by...." She placed her hand on Myka's arm and guided her to crouch down beside her. Then, she pointed to a gear attached vertically on the far right. "That gear, right there. One single gear to keep the entire town moving."

Myka frowned at the gear and then scanned the others to try to puzzle out the pathways.

"Here, watch." Helena reached up and turned a crank sticking out from the side. The gears began moving, triggering others after a slight delay. Myka watched for a moment and then stood up to see the results. The model was incomplete, but there was a young boy gliding down the street with his dog and a dark man swiveling at the waist and swinging his arms like was trying to attract customers to his stall. 

"Oh, he's new." Helena pointed to the merchant after she stood up. "My uncle must have finished him last night."

Movement in a window caught Myka's attention. "Is that a curtain blowing?"

Helena snorted. "Yes. It wasn't in the original plans, but my uncle feared the buildings would be too static. He spent a week plotting and adding a path up inside to that window, and then another day fiddling so the gear would brush the curtain but not tangle with it." She smirked as she stopped turning the crank. "Never knew my uncle could spew so many curses."

Myka was still trying to wrap her head around what she was seeing. "This is all mechanical?" She squatted down to look at the maze of gears again.

"For now. He's considering adding an electric switch when it's done to turn it on and off."

It must have taken Helena's uncle ages to design this. Myka shook her head. "This is... amazing." She grinned and stood up. "This is amazing."

Helena's face lit up. "You like it?"

"I love it. Really." She glanced towards the shelves and wondered what the other creations down here did. She looked back at Helena. "Thank you for showing me this."

Helena looked like she was brimming with something exciting. "Would you like to see my workbench?"

Myka was surprised. "You have a workbench?"

Helena grinned and took her hand. "Follow me." She led her around some large machinery that looked industrial (was that one a laser cutter?) and to the corner where another workbench stood. It struck Myka that this was the real reason Helena had brought her down here. She’d been wanting to show her this. The thought made her nervous and strangely self-conscious.

"I was only recently given it." Helena slowed up a little as they neared. "My uncle insisted on wasting several weeks training me on all of the equipment first." She huffed. "As if I haven't been experimenting on my own for years already."

"Experimenting?"

Helena's grin came back. "And inventing."

Helena was an inventor? Myka looked over the bench. "What are you working on now?"

"An old idea." Helena stepped up to the bench and dug out a drawing. "It's a grappling gun. It seemed like a good first invention to follow through on." She cringed and side-eyed the bench. "I'd show you more, but the physical device is rather in pieces at the moment."

"No, I can still get the idea from this." Especially as Helena had a talent for drawing. The sketch was detailed and proportional and very clearly a grappling gun. "But you know the grappling gun's already been invented, right?"

"Pardon, but have you ever seen a real-life working grappler?"

Myka frowned. She had to have seen one somewhere. Weren't there toys for those comic books and games Pete loved? (But if there were, wouldn't Pete have owned those toys?) "No?"

Helena smiled and plucked her sketch back from Myka. "Then, I claim credit for inventing it."

Myka laughed and was struck by a strong surge of adoration. Helena was just so... Helena. The feeling stuck in her chest and churned at her heart. She watched Helena set the drawing down and rearrange some parts that were strewn across the bench. The girl caught her eye briefly.

"So, you do like the workshop?"

"Yeah." She loved it. She wanted to explore and see what else was down here, but she was still confused. She didn’t know why Helena had decided to share this with her. There was an obvious answer, of course, that the delight in Helena’s eyes seemed to support, but Myka couldn’t let herself believe it quite yet. "Helena?"

Helena turned to face her fully, and her smile faded at whatever expression Myka was currently wearing. Myka took a deep breath to stall. No panic ignited this time, no push to do something else. Just a quiet dread settling deep in her stomach.

"Do you like me?"

Helena searched her face. She gave a slight shake of her head. "I don't quite understand the question."

It was a simple question. A simple question that had been burning away in the back of Myka's mind for awhile. She just wanted the answer now.

Myka crossed her arms across her chest. "I mean do you like me? Really?"

"Of course, I like you."

Did she always have to be so difficult? "Fine, but do you actually care about me at all? Or.. or what is this, I guess? What are we?"

Something was playing across Helena's face. Something Myka couldn't fully read. "Myka, I adore you." Helena dropped her head and played with the corner of a paper hanging off the bench's edge. "And I supposed we might be dating. Though, it's becoming clearer lately that your thoughts are somewhat different than mine. Maybe I care about you more."

"You care about me?" Myka cut in. "You adore me?" She still held her arms around her because it felt like they were holding her together.

Helena raised her eyes back to hers. "Do you not believe me?"

"I... I didn't know." She couldn't speak much above a whisper, and her throat was tightening up. It had better not mean tears were coming because that would be embarrassing.

Helena looked stunned. Myka shifted her feet and tried to breathe the lump away. Helena liked her. She really did like her. The relief was slow to spread through her, having to push away disbelief first.

Helena stepped closer to her and softly placed her hand on Myka's arms. "Myka..." She slid her fingers back and forth, and Myka couldn't tell if she was shaking or had her arms crossed too tightly again. "I messed this up somehow, didn't I?"

"No." You like me. The thought was still sinking in. "No, you didn't." Because you like me. Happiness began to bloom in her chest.

"But," Helena furrowed her brow. "You didn't know how I felt?"

Myka shook her head. "I wanted you to like me. I thought maybe... but I didn't know." Helena looked concerned, so she pushed on. "It was probably my fault. I should've asked, but - but I was scared. I guess." It was really difficult for her to stand still. Her body felt too jittery.

"You thought I might not like you the same way," Helena asked softly. Myka nodded. There was a moment where Helena just stared at her. Then, she pushed up, wrapping her into a hug and tucking her chin into her neck. Myka breathed out in a rush and extracted her arms to return the hug.

"I'm sorry," Helena said. "I'm sorry you didn't know."

Myka closed her eyes and focused on the warmth of Helena in her arms. Hers. She was hers. Mine.

"I care about you very much." Helena tilted her head to kiss Myka's neck. "So much, and -" she pulled back to look Myka in the eye "- I truly adore you."

Myka broke into a smile. "I adore you, too. I really, really, really do." Her feelings were getting overwhelming, so she kissed her. Helena didn't hesitate to kiss her back. It was soft and warm and relieving. It felt like they hadn't kissed in ages.

Helena rested her head against Myka's. She pushed some curls back and tangled her fingers in them. Myka had missed the feel of her hand in her hair.

"So, you like me?"

"Yes." Helena gave her a quick kiss.

"Does that mean -" Myka paused. "Are you my girlfriend?"

Helena leaned back again. Myka's stomach flipped.

"You want to call me your girlfriend?"

Myka bit her lip but nodded.

Helena's eyes lit up, and then the smile broke out. "I would love to be your girlfriend."

Myka exhaled in relief and beamed. "Really?"

Helena nodded, still smiling and fingering through her hair. 

"Okay," Myka said. "Okay, good. You're my girlfriend." She kissed Helena again and laughed.

Helena was her girlfriend.

————————


	5. Epilogue

Myka stood outside the bookstore and waited for Pete to pick her up for lunch. He was only two minutes late so far, but it felt like an hour.

Finally, his truck appeared. He pulled over to the curb, and Myka climbed into the passenger seat.

“Oh my god, I’ve been craving this pumpkin shake so bad, I had a dream about it last night.” Pete cocked his head. “What’s wrong? Did your dad yell at you again?”

She took a deep breath. “I need to tell you something.”

“Okay. Shoot.” He put the truck into gear and pulled back into the road. She would’ve preferred to have his full attention for this, but she wasn’t going to make him pull over again.

“I have a girlfriend.” Short. Direct. It had seemed the best route to take when she was preparing for this.

Pete nodded a bit, not really reacting. He glanced her way. “Are you talking braid-each-other’s-hair-and-share-clothes kind of girlfriend or… ?”

“The dating and making out kind of girlfriend,” Myka said. “A lot. A lot of making out.” She cleared her throat and ran her hands across her knees. “It’s Helena. My girlfriend, it’s Helena.”

Pete still wasn’t reacting, just looking ahead to the road. But a smirk was starting to show, and it made her frown.

“What is that? What are you doing?”

“What? I didn’t say anything!”

“But you’re smirking! Why are you smirking at me?” It hit her. “Oh my god, you knew already? How could you have possibly known?”

“I didn’t know, exactly! And really? I couldn’t possibly have known?” He turned his head completely towards her. “Have you seen the way you look at her? It definitely doesn’t scream ‘just friends’.”

“Road.”

Pete sighed and faced forward again. “Plus, there may have been some rumors around the school. Wasn’t sure they were about you, though. It didn’t really seem like you anyway.”

Myka’s stomach clenched. That was very different than her best friend just knowing her too well. “What rumors?”

“Ehhh,” Pete dragged out. “Just stuff. About some girls in the locker room. I don’t know.”

“What?” But nobody ever saw them in the locker room. “Who said it?”

“I think it started with the volleyball team.”

When the hell did a volleyball player see them?

“And then the cross-country team allegedly confirmed it, but they weren’t naming any names.”

The cross-country team. “Oh, god.” Pete looked frighteningly amused and like he wanted to follow up on this reaction. Myka groaned.

“What were you two doing in the locker rooms?” he asked, almost laughing.

“Nothing!”

They pulled into the Culver’s parking lot.

“Hey.” Pete was suddenly serious as he parked the truck. “You know I’m okay with you two dating, right?”

“Well, you weren’t freaking out so I kind of assumed as much.” She still felt relieved when he said it outright, though.

“Okay, good. Cause I’m totally cool with it.” He got out of the truck, and Myka followed. “Not so sure about these rumors, though,” he continued in a more teasing tone. “They were getting kind of dirty. Mentioning things like,” there wasn’t anyone around in the parking lot, but he still cupped his hands around his mouth and whispered the end, “sex stuff.”

Myka stared at him with a straight face. “We did not have sex in the varsity locker room.”

“I know,” Pete nodded. “That’s why I didn’t think those rumors were about you two. It didn’t make any sense - wait.” Myka turned and walked towards the restaurant entrance. “Not in the varsity locker room or not at all? Myka?” She looked over her shoulder at him with her eyebrow arched. “Whoa now, did you hit a home run before me?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She turned back away and smirked.

“Myka Ophelia Bering!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short epilogue that I felt was needed to tie some loose threads up. Thank you to anyone who read this entire thing! I really appreciate it.


End file.
